A Very Super Samurai Christmas
by JasonVermin
Summary: The very first in a series. What happens when a mysterious visitor from Jayden's past comes back that isn't his sister? Comedy.
1. Chapter 1

It was early in the morning inside the Shiba house. The sun began to peek through the windows as Kevin, ever determined, walked into the living room to find innocent Emily, prankster Mike and homeless fisherman Antonio playing video games on an unfamiliar television set in the middle of the room. All three of their eyes fixated to the screen, glazed over. Mike and Antonio's fingers were moving frantically over the control pads as Emily sat, transfixed by the pretty colors. Kevin sternly stood behind them, arms crossed, and cleared his throat. This caused no reaction to the trio. He did it again, but louder. Nothing. He kept clearing his throat until it reached an absurdly loud level. Emily grasped her hands over her ears and rolling on the floor.

"Loud noises!" she cried as tears began to fill her eyes.

"Shut up, Emily!" Mike yelled without moving his eyes from the screen. "I'm trying to play here."

Kevin walked behind the television set and abruptly pulled the cord.

"Hey, what's the big idea, jerk!" Mike yelled.

"We were playing that!" Antonio added.

"Shouldn't you be training? What if there's a nighlock attack? We need to be at our best at all times!" Kevin stated emphatically, yet woodenly.

"Yeah...were not going to do that anymore," Mike replied with a straight face.

We figured what were gonna do is the next time there's an attack, we're gonna get in the zords first and squish them, then when they come back make the bigger zord and squish 'em again. I dunno, you guys really don't need me..." Antonio explained.

''That...is not... the way of the samurai!" Kevin stated, trying to stay calm.

"Since when did Samurai have giant robots and magic cellphones?" Mike shot back.

"Dude, I'm not even a samurai. Just a homeless genius who built a morpher out of a phone. I didn't even really build it. Just found it," Antonio explained as he got up to plug the TV back in.

"You're homeless?" Kevin asked, surprised.

"Yeah, that's why I carry all my stuff with me everywhere I go."

Kevin stood shocked for a moment, but then realized it was a lost cause. Kevin began to walk away.

Antonio and Kevin sat down again and started playing again. Both their eyes became fixated on the screen once again.

"Do you even like that guy?" Antonio asked Mike.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun was high in the sky as handsome, rugged drifter Vason Jermin approached the Shiba house. He kneeled to the ground, picked up some dirt, and sifted it between his fingers. He knew he was close. He rubbed his five o' clock shadow and slung his hobo bindle over his shoulder. He took a few steps and approached Mia, Kevin and Jayden, hard at work training. Mentor Ji, who was overseeing the trio's training was the first to spot the handsome hobo. He stood up slowly, his eyes transfixed on Jermin.

"Jayden..." Master Ji said abruptly, drawing Jayden's attention to the stranger.

Mia and Kevin looked up as well, as Vason approached.

It's been a long time, Jayden."

"Not long enough," Jayden stated sternly with his trademark grimace.

"Who is this, Jayden?" Kevin asked defensively.

"Shut up, Kevin," Jayden snapped back. "What are you doing here?"

"Perhaps we should take this inside..." Ji offered, hoping to diffuse the situation.

"Fine," Jayden said, still holding that grimace.

He abruptly walked in front of Vason. Following his lead, Kevin also abruptly walked in front of Vason. Mia stood transfixed. As Vason walked in front of her, he shot her a smile and a wink, which caused her instantly to nearly swoon and have a big grin on her face.


	3. Chapter 3

"So let me get this straight," Mike tried to process. "This guy used to train with you as a kid Jayden, until he was banished for being too powerful?"

"Way to restate everything I just said, stupid." Jayden quipped back.

"He's so...sparkly!" Emily added, hoping to contribute to the conversation.

"That's not what "sparkly" means," Ji said correcting her.

"So you have powers," Kevin stated, looking Jermin up and down. "What kind of powers?"

Vason looked him in the eyes and waved a hand in front of him, causing Kevin to collapse into a heap.

"Is he sleeping?" Mia asked concerned.

"Or dead. I get those powers mixed up a lot."

"Dude that is awesome!" Mike yelled. "Usually he's the one putting us to sleep."

He held his hand out for a high five. Deciding the burn was adequate, Vason accommodated and slapped his hand.

"You didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?" Jayden asked, going into minute 15 of his grimace.

"That can wait. Now does anybody know where I can get something to eat around here?" Vason asked wearily.

"I can make you something to eat!" Mia piped in enthusiastically, as she twirled a strand of her hair around her finger.

"My power of perception, which is the lesser of my many, many powers, tell me that's a bad idea. It also tells me none of your friends care about you enough to be honest with you."

"Ooh Ooh, I know a place!" Emily enthusiastically pontificated.

"Alright Blondie, you're up," Vason said with a wry smile.

They headed out the door. Seconds later the sounds of Ji's motorcycle revving up rang through the Shiba house. The mentor ran to the door, Mike trailing behind, in time to see Vason riding the motorcycle, with Emily riding on the back, neither wearing helmets. Dragging behind them was Antonio' fishing cooler.

"Not Again!" Ji moaned.

"Maybe you should put your bike in the garage or something..." Mike said.

Ji gave Mike a stern look, and turned to walk away. Once behind Mike, Ji kicked him in the shin, causing the young man to fall to the floor.

"You live in the garage now." Ji said as he walked away. "When the bike gets back it gets your room and all your stuff."


	4. Chapter 4

In the netherworld, Master Xandred's ship flowed uneasily over the choppy waters of the Xanzu River. Inside Master Xandred's ship, the dark lord was lying on the floor.

"My headache," he moaned like an old woman.

"Octaroo, his loyal crony entered with a bowl full of the only thing that could sooth his master's headaches temporarily: his medicine.

"Give me that!" Master Xandred said as he grabbed the bowl of the foamy white liquid from the squid man's hands.

"Ooh-Ah-Ooh, there's no need to be so rude!" Octaroo quipped back.

I"'m sorry. It's these headaches. They've made me so cranky lately, and these Samurai rangers. I haven't been treating you well." Master Xandred said genuinely.

"That's very nice of you to apologize, you're not so bad." Octaroo said sympathetically. "There is one more thing though..."

"What." Xandred asked, nervously.

"It's him."

Master Xandred struggled to his feet.

"I knew this day would come. I need my most fearsome Nighlok..."

"No, not him..." Octaroo pleaded in disbelief. "Anything but him."

"I have no choice." Xandred stuck his head out of the ships window.

"Murray!"

From under the river came an old voice, belonging to the oldest of old men.

"What?" the voice replied back.

"I need you!"

"What for?"

"I'll tell you when you get here."

"Oy, fine!"

Through the window crawled, a frail old man with a striking resemblance to Abe Vigoda. This was one of the most feared Nighlock of all time: Murray.

"What the hell do you want?" Murray asked crankily. "I was trying to die."

"Ok, first off, language." Master Xandred said. "Second of all I need you to go to earth and use your powers of boredom to destroy the Samurai rangers.

"Alright, Alright, but after this, you'll let me die?" Murray asked.

"Hey, it's a win, win situation. If you win you come back here to die. If you loose the rangers kill you." Octaroo piped in.

"I like those odds. Sign me up, sonny." Murray said with as much excitement an 85 year old man can muster.


	5. Chapter 5

Vason Jermin and Emily sat on the curb in the parking lot of the drive-in. Vason was visibly uncomfortable.

"You'll love this place. Some of the meals come with toys!" Emily said enthusiastically.

"I don't like it here. I prefer to eat the flesh of my enemies." Vason said somewhat distant, which he accented with looking far off in the distance.

"Hey daddy-o, don't be such a square," Emily said in an aloof manor as she drew the shape of a triangle with her two pointer fingers.

"She's a nice girl," he thought to himself. "But she's a couple mecha short of a gigazord."

Suddenly they heard screaming. Both Emily and Vason turned their heads to see an old man, hunched over, chasing people with his arms above his head. He grabbed a terrified person from the crowd.

"Did I ever tell you how movies used to cost a nickel?" Murray asked sincerely.

"Oh my god...so...bored." the innocent stated breathily, as he began to loose consciousness and slumped to the ground.

He must be telling stories so boring that it's making people fall asleep!" Emily said forcibly, yet with a sense of vulnerability. Vason was about to make a comment, but felt no challenge in it and decided to keep it to himself. Murray rose above the crowd and started shooting lasers from his eyes.

He looks like Abe Vigoda," Vason though out loud, "But Abe Vigoda can't shoot lasers out of his eyes .He can fly...but not lasers."

Just then the other 5 rangers appeared. In the distance.

"Hey, Nighlock. It's time to qualify you for disability benefits!" Jayden said defiantly.

"What?" Murray screeched, cupping his ear.

"I said..never mind." Jayden looked to his team. "Ready?"

"Ready!" Replied the rest of the Samurai team in unison

"Go Go Samurai!"

As the rangers morphed in a spectacular special effects sequence, Vason received the food from the waitress. He took his time and ate not only his meal, but Emily's children's meal as well. He got up, and wiped his hands on a moist towelette. Using his super strength (yet another of his powers), he picked up Ji's motorcycle and hurled it at Murray hitting him squarely in the chest, knocking him backwards.

"That knocked the wind right out of my sails." Murray said as he began to dry out. "Aw Son of a bee hive, I'm drying out."

"Go ahead, run." Vason said cooly. He then began to make chicken noises to taunt Murray.

"Why don't you run up an alley and holler fish" Murray said as he drew himself back to the underworld through a crack in the concrete.

As the rangers finished morphing, they jumped in front of Vason.

"Where'd he go?" asked Mia.

"Something about making out with your mom, Jayden." Vason replied facetiously "He said he's got a standing appointment." Jayden's grimace was evident even underneath his helmet. He turned away.

"Let's go back to the house," Jayden said coldly, "We need to strategize."

"Hold on," Vason said abruptly. He knelt down to the victim of Murray's attack looking concerned. He turned the man over and took his wallet. "Okay, we can go."


	6. Chapter 6

Inside the Shiba house again, the rangers and Vason were trying to come up with a plan. Kevin was pacing the floor. The rest of the rangers were racking their brains as Vason was drawing in Kevin's notebook.

"How can we defeat this nighlock. Old people are practically invincible." Kevin stated in his usual delivery.

"What are you drawing?" Mia asked looking at Vason. "Is it a new, powerful Zord combination."

"Huh, oh sorry? I was drawing naked ladies. What are we talking about?" Kevin grabbed the notebook away from Vason.

"Y'know actually, the reason I came," Vason said, "was because I had a weapon that would've been perfect in this situation, but it was really heavy, so I dropped it somewhere."

The team stood in shock.

"But there is another way." Vason said getting up off his chair. "All the nighlock have a connection to Master Xandred if I can sever that connection, Murray should be easy to blow him up or whatever you do."

"How come I've never heard of this?" Kevin asked Ji.

"The archives are really long, and there's so much on TV this season." Ji replied somewhat sheepishly.

"Who's going to go to the netherworld?" Mia asked concerned.

"I'll do it." Vason said confidently "I go there all the time. It's underrated."

"Alright," Jayden said, breaking his silence.

"Oh, you're here Jayden?" Vason asked sarcastically. "I thought the LEADER would LEAD the tactical thing here."

"You're gonna need a samuraizer. Take mine." Jayden said as he reached for his pocket.

"No," Vason said solemnly, stopping Jayden. "I already took it. I better leave tonight."

"Right," Ji agreed. "The rest of us will be on watch for Murray out here, but we need to get some rest."

As Vason headed out the door, the samurai rangers headed to their rooms, except for Mike who was stopped by Ji, who pointed him towards the garage. Mike sulked away.


	7. Chapter 7

It took a while for Vason to get to the Netherworld. On the way he had gotten caught up with a bumbling oaf and his nephew as they unsuccessfully tried to run for congress. What a disaster to loose by only two votes. His career as a political manager may have been over, but he still had a job to do.

The first thing Vason had done was render a one of Master Xandred's foot soldiers unconscious. His hopes in accomplishing this was to take off the uniform and wear it as a disguise. Half way through the process he realized that they weren't wearing costumes, but at that point he figured he had gone that far, why not go all the way.

He spotted a row of other moogers. Wanting to blend in, he got in at the end. Right after he had done that, the line began to move, and before he knew it, he was in the chambers of Master Xandred.

The Shiba house's alarm rang abruptly, causing all the rangers to run out from their quarters, including Mike from the garage. Mentor Ji checked the map.

"That same cafe place all the other monsters attack."

"Here," Jayden said, handing the black box to Kevin.

"Are you sure?" Kevin asked.

"Well, I cant use it, and if I give it to Mike, Mentor's just going to make me give it to his motorcycle."

Kevin nodded and the other rangers ran out of the house. There was an awkward silence.

Wanna play Jenga?" Mentor asked hopeful, to which Jayden headed towards his room with his trademark grimace.

"That's a stupid game," he shouted as he slammed his door.


	8. Chapter 8

"What's the status of mooger team 3?" Octaroo asked the mooger ahead of Vason. He kept cool under pressure, because like all great men, he had a plan. Octaroo moved in front of Vason.

"What's the status of your team?" Octaroo asked, looking at his clipboard. A whirring sound caused him to look up to see Vason, with the bullzooka (which Vason had swiped) in hand, pointed directly at this bulbous head.

"Your team says 'hi'," Vason quipped before blasting Octaroo through the skull. This got Master Xandred's arrention.

"You..." Master Xandred snarled as he struggled to his feet. Vason peeled off the Mooger exoskeleton from his head, shaking the mucous membrane from his hair.

"Alright Big Red, It's time for you to get chewed out," Vason said as he dropped the bullzooka. Xandred looked on as Vason pulled out Jayden's samuraizer, and poised himself to do the all powerful sealing symbol. Vason then suddenly dropped the samuraizer, and popped Xandred in the nose, sending him reeling back into a closet. Seizing the opportunity, Vason took a near by chair and wedged in under the handle of the door knob. He then picked up the samuraizer and the bullzooka and ran to the ships window. He dropped the Bullzooka overboard and sat on the edge of the window. Giving double middle fingers he plunged backwards into the Xanzu River.

Meanwhile back in the human world, Murray was on a bench waiting for the Samurai Rangers. He checked his watch.

These kids today. No respect for anyones time," Murray said to himself. Suddenly there was a clamping feeling in his chest. As the Samurai rangers approached, winded and out of breath, they found Murray grasping his chest. He fell over and hit the ground with a huge explosion.

"Okay...If anyone asks...biggest, hardest battle ever," Kevin said making sure to make eye contact with everyone.

Murray reappeared with a booming laugh, followed by a hacking cough.

"I'll teach you young kids some manners." The giant Murray wheezed.

Kevin took the combination disk from his belt and put it in the black box morpher. The zords assembled into the masterful gigazord. The rangers teleported into the cockpit. A second later Jayden, fully morphed teleported in.

"Sorry I'm late, guys." Jayden said cooly.

"Nice of you to show up." Mike quipped.

"Shut up, Mike. You're the second worst ranger after E-M-I-L-Y," Jayden shot back.

"Ha! I'd hate to be her!" Emily giggled.

Just then, Vason used on of his many powers to teleport into the cockpit.

"Sup," Vason said, with a dry cool wit. "We gonna do this?"

"Here" Kevin said, handing the shogun disk to Vason. ''You earned this."

"Cool so I go outside and then put it in my belt, and fight the monster?" Vason asked.

"No, you do it inside the zord." Kevin explained.

"Why? What's the point." Vason asked after a pause.

"It looks really cool!" Emily piped in.

"Eh...that's okay, you can keep it." Vason said unsure.

"Okay..." Kevin relented. "It is really cool though.

"I'm sure it is," Vason said sympathetically.


	9. Chapter 9

Outside the Shiba house the rangers were saying their goodbyes to the mysterious Vason

Jermin. He was on Ji's motorcycle, in front of a large ramp.

"Are you sure you can't stay a little longer? I'll make it worth your while," Mia asked smiling.

"Sorry, but I have to get back to my home planet. They need me." Vason replied.

"Well, I want to thank you for everything. We couldn't have done it without you." Jayden said.

"That's right you couldn't have." Vason said completely seriously.

"I was wrong," Kevin said woodenly. "You ARE a Samurai."

"No." Vason said as he revved up the bike. 'I'm THE samurai."

With that Vason gunned the bike and hit the ramp. He flew off it into the sky unreel he was nothing by a tiny speck. He looked back at Jayden with a look that seemed to say, "I've stolen your silverware." They would soon find out how accurate looks can be. It was the best Christmas any of them would ever have.


End file.
